"DeNiro's Double Act: One Film, Two Failures!"

"The Alto Knights" is an agonizing slog of a film that feels like it’s been dragged out from the depths of a dead genre, and honestly, I can’t figure out why anyone thought this was worth making. The movie is tired, slow, and, worst of all, utterly boring. It’s hard to pinpoint a single moment that demands attention, and I genuinely found myself dozing off during multiple scenes.

Don’t get me wrong—Robert DeNiro is still a legendary actor, but this film proves that even the best can falter. DeNiro's decision to play both the lead roles of Frank and Vito is baffling and distracting. The idea that these two characters, essentially two sides of the same coin, would be played by the same actor could’ve worked in a different context, but here it’s just absurd. I had trouble telling the two apart, and for large portions of the film, I couldn’t even remember which character was supposed to be who. The two roles could have benefited from two distinct actors to give them depth and contrast, but instead, it feels like a ploy to have DeNiro dominate the screen in a way that only serves to remind you of his past glories, which this film is nowhere near.

And then there’s the lackluster supporting cast. There’s barely anyone around to prop up the film and break up the monotony. Kathrine Narducci, playing Vito Genovese’s wife, was the sole bright spot in this otherwise dimly lit mess. Her performance had an authenticity and presence that made me wish the rest of the movie had that same energy. Sadly, Narducci's talents are wasted in a film that can't seem to gather any momentum.

The dialogue? Repetitive and stale. Watching two old men mumble the same tired lines over and over doesn’t build tension—it just makes you want to check out entirely. It’s not just that the story drags; it’s that it feels so painfully familiar, like I’ve already seen this film or something very close to it a dozen times. The likes of Goodfellas and Casino, loom over this movie like ghosts, reminding us of what this could have been—but never was.

DeNiro's portrayal of both Frank and Vito doesn't have the intensity or depth that you'd expect from a seasoned actor. If anything, his dual roles only seem like a hollow attempt at adding gravitas to a script that doesn’t deserve it. The film might have had a shot at greatness, but instead, it feels like a lazy retread of a genre that’s already been done to death. And don’t get me started on the wives who look so shockingly similar that it feels like even the filmmakers couldn’t be bothered to differentiate them.

The film is an exercise in self-indulgence, and it’s as if DeNiro thought that by playing two characters, he could snag an Oscar nomination. Newsflash: it doesn’t work, and neither role is compelling. The entire movie feels like an afterthought, and despite its potential, it falls flat on its face. The story could have been told in a much tighter, more engaging way, but instead, it drags on for what feels like an eternity.

If you’re looking for an intense mob film with gritty realism and compelling characters, look elsewhere. Alto Knights is painfully forgettable. Stream it at home, or better yet, skip it entirely. I left the theater wishing I had walked out within the first 30 minutes, but I stuck it out for you, dear reader, so you wouldn’t have to suffer through the agony that is Alto Knights. It’s a waste of time, a waste of talent, and most importantly— total waste of money!